Enough

Yesterday I went over to my cousin’s house to celebrate her b-day. We her a dinner and chocolate cup cakes and we watched a movie. I ended up having to baby-sit my little cousin, niece, and nephew. I got a call from one of my managers and he heard all the noise and I explained how I was baby-sitting so I didn’t get a chance to do any phone time. I think that she really enjoyed us there celebrating her b-day since no one else even bothered, ok, they brought her a German Chocolate cake (which they really like, she doesn’t)

While at my cousin’s house Jordan called me and we needed to talk about something from a few days ago (too weird and personal to explain) We talked about it and everything was fine, then we started to really talk about things that had been going on for a while now. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but lately I’ve been more straight forward then usual so I told him straight out all the things that have been bothering me lately. He apologized a numerous amount of times but that’s part of the problem, I’ve been overlooking so many things lately simply with his apologies and promises to try. This time I had enough, as we talked he tried to explain what’s been going on and he dug himself in deeper. The more he tried to explain, the worse things became. Sadly I told Jordan I’m tired of this, and this time it’s really over. I think that I gave it a pretty good try and I gave him extra chances than I said I would.

I got up the nerve earlier today to tell my mom about the brake up without getting into details. The last time that Jordan and I sort of broke up we didn’t tell our families and we thought that we were do so to save ourselves from each ourselves, maybe we had the right idea the first time… I’m just sorry the way things ended, I was really upset with Jordan and I think I was harsh.

Jordan: I’m sorry, I really loved you all this time and it just hurt me all that much more that’s why I said if we still talk we can’t say I love you, it will be all the more harder on both of us. Right now, since it happened I just feel this weirdness, a strange pain inside but for some strange reason I also feel strong, and I know everything is going to be alright. I hope we’ll stay friends as we started out, I really want to still be there for you with everything going on in your life, I’m still here, I still care.