Life and the light at the end of the tunnel

Life has been good, sure there are always struggles here and there, but who doesn't go through that? That's life... We just have to see through the hard times as a learning process as we get older.

(sigh of peace) I love when I feel good, I remember when I use to feel down all the time, I can't believe the journey life has taken me on, I just look back and see how much stronger I am now.  Life hasn't always been easy, and my past postings probably seem like childish complaints on love, the truth is, that was the least of my worries before, I've just always been so private about my struggles that I had to release some steam, everyone talks about love issues, they're really no big deal, so that's why I would usually posted about boy troubles, just one thing I could get off my chest without digging deep down into my true personal life.

How times have changed, how life has changed, I don't feel like the same me I was a few years back when I first started this blog.  I took the hand I was dealt and learned to make the best of it, sometimes even bluffing myself to make it work.  That on it's own was the best accomplishment I've been through, overcoming fooling myself.  Now I don't have to, I look at my life and only the good shows through, people don't understand what I've been through to get where I am now, I don't mind, I just don't like to hear that people think I have things easy.  I struggled for a long, and worked hard to be where I am now, who I am now, I'm not trying to brag, just saying, if you don't know me, please don't pre-judge me.  I had a hard life, and I now have reached the light at the end of the tunnel, just barely, but I made it.  Only by God's grace I made it through.

Hooked in

Wow, once again, its been a long time since my last post.  Humm... I wonder just how many of my post have started out that way... Oh well.  UPDATE TIME:

I'm proud to say that I'm married, been married to my love Christian for already 1yr and 6mths, I almost can't believe its gone by so quickly.  :) Like everyone else, we've had our small problems here and there but nothing that we couldn't handle.  To be honest, compared to what I've been through in my life, our marriage still seem almost like one big dream, a wonderful dream I don't want to wake up from.  I have been living my life to the fullest with my wonderful husband by my side and my family life has never been better (both sides mine and my in-laws= new family) I couldn't live without any of them, I just pray that they'll all be safe. =)

I love that when one door closes, God always opens another (no matter how much you may fight it)  he has always had a plan for my life, all my struggles, trials, and heartache I've been through were just stepping stones I had to pass through to be able to truly appreciate what I have now.  I love my life, thank God that I'm still here, you made me strong for some reason, now I don't have try so hard, happiness just comes naturally.

So why is the title of this blog "Hooked in?"  Well as anyone still reading this may have already known, and as I mentioned, its been a long time since my last post.  Why am I posting now?  I received an email saying I had a new comment on one of my older post (the hook) so I clicked the link but no comment, but I decided to update.  Oh well I was hook in to posting again.  Well, anyone reading still, got to go hopefully I'll get back into the habit of posting, bye!

Love, Life, & work :)

Work day have been long but it's great pay and just what I've been looking for as far as pay rate & hours are concerned. No worries in my life right, everything seems to be on the right track. I've never been better, and I'm still so in love with my man Christian. :) He's been so great through out everything and we have really helped each other grow in life so much. I wouldn't want to be in any other situation than I am now. I love my life, I have a great job, great friends I spend time with at least once a week, family, and my love& his family as well-they are so great & have excepted me as one of the family since day one. Well time for bed, another full day of work in the morning and then fun with friends. Can't wait! :) Good night all.

Peace :)

:) I'm still doing well. I still can't believe the changes in my life, I'm so at easy (even at times when I normally wouldn't be) and happy, I'm truly happy. I love my classes and professors this semester, they are AWESOME! :) Good friends, family time, love, and learning with each day to live life to the fullest and enjoy the journey it takes to get there. :)

My new life of true Love and Happiness :)

Wow. So... it's been a looonnng time since I've posted anything. I still have been venting out my feelings but through more constructive ways, I have been devoting myself to overcoming all my obstacles. Things have been great for me. I find it kind of weird myself to think of how different my life is now. Things did not work out with Jake-when it came to a dating relationship, but it turns out he can be so motivational and helpful whenever I need a friend to talk to he is an awesome friend.

Jordan and I had our finally fall out, sometimes I still miss his friendship and wish it was the way we first started out talking over the phone; but things change and so do people. He is not the same Jordan that I once fell in love with or befriended but that's fine with me, as long as he's happy with his life then I glad for him, because I'm very happy with my new life.

Let's see... I'm still in college and finished up my fall semester with a bang in-spite of having to take a full time course load of flex classes :p Oh well I did it! I surprised myself with how well I did, Fall classes were by best grades I've ever received! I'm so proud of myself. Working independently and as a personal secretary. :)

As for my love life: The BEST it's ever been! I met with an old high school friend one day, a day that changed my life, his name is Christian, we've had ups and downs but mostly great times. I must admit, I didn't want to fall in love again, I didn't even want to date anymore, then he came along, I feel bad now because I fought it in the beginning. I just couldn't fight it forever, I'm in love with a wonderful man, we have done quite a bit of traveling, seeing and doing new things as we go along. I love how comfortable we are together. My family really never liked anyone I dated before but they all love Christian and made him feel like family right away; his family is just as wonderful as he is. I always feel like family when I'm with them and soon I will be. Christian took me for a short trip to Corpus Christi back in the beginning of October and proposed to me in the most romantic way possible. Of course I was so excited and I've been wearing my engagement ring ever since! :)

I don't want a copy! :(

I am going to be in KICK ASSSS shape! Lately when I get frustrated or want to distract myself, I work out extra hard. I had a great work out this morning and mini sessions through out the day, it really helps me relieve stress.

I figured something out today, actually I think I already knew but just wouldn't admit it, I don't want to date Jake anymore. It makes me feel bad when I'm out with him, thinking of Jordan. My friends and I can tell that he really likes me, but I just don't feel it with him. Remembering an old blog about our hands, they do but not the right fit. My feelings for Jordan have never change, I just had to make myself cold to be strong and not break down. I could have easily done it, I was really broken, and I wasn't just "rebounding," I kind of liked Jake in the beginning, but the more I'm go out with him, the more I see that he's not who I want. He is nothing like Jordan, and I thought that was a good thing at first, I didn't just want someone "like" Jordan, I don't want a copy, I want my original nerd back. :( I miss him so much, and hopefully we can be together again someday, we both agree that we would like to try but not like this, things need to be different. I hope we can make it happen.

FRUSTRATED!!!!! FREAKIN JAKE!

I have no freakin' idea, what to do right now!!! Grrrrrr!!!! Freakin' Jake! Sorry, but really need to vent right now, because I am just sooooooo frustrated with the way things are right now. I've been on the fence about Jake lately, I was talking to my friend Daniel the other, because he knows Jake. AAAAAAA, I told him that I'm not sure about Jake, the thing with Jake, is that I've been focusing on all the positive, I needed to, to keep myself positive. The thing is, everything is not so positive. AAAAAAAA, I can't hide the bad just because I don't want to face it, now I break my silence because I am so frustrated and confused!

Jake and I were suppose to over to his house today and watch an old movie together, maybe two, anyways, that was the plan for after he got out of work. I just talked to him a little while ago and nope. Apparently he didn't get a chance to "clean up," I know he's been busy, but I told him it would be alright with me, he got that annoying voice I haven't spoke of to anyone but Gabby before this point, it's almost like he's winning, "Aww, trust me, I want take you over, but my place is so dirty that it bothers me, I don't even want to see it like this." Ok, why does this annoy me so much, well like I said, first of all he gets that winey voice, not to mention he was the one that thought of this since about Tuesday, do you mean to tell me he couldn't clean up or at least make his place look decent sometime between then and now. He reminded me last night, and he was up late, off doing an interview of a band for the radio station, ok, fine, but after, he was up late into the morning hours, just messing out around the house because he didn't feel like sleeping. Ok, why didn't he clean or straighten up then? AAAAA...

It's bad enough for me that I'm trying to see if something could come out of this, he's a good guy and he's treated me right up to this point, but he's flaking again, we almost didn't go out the other night too, but he changed his mind and came to pick me up for a late date. I wanted to talk to him tonight, it was important, I've been talking to Jordan a friend again, and I didn't want to hide it from Jake, I also wanted to talk to him and let him know that I might not be here next semester, I'm waiting for my scholarship offers from OSU, I don't know what I'm going to do yet, I registered for my classes here just in case I do stay, but I'm not sure about him either. Dam it! I'm more mad about the fact that I didn't get tell him today, I thought it would be better to tell him in person, that's why I waited until tonight. There goes that plan. I'm so frustrated and confused where I'm almost ready to just call him and tell him just what I've been thinking!

The thing that's really getting to me is the fact that I told Jordan about all this already, I told him even though it's been complicated with Jake, he treats me right and he's there for me, this does not reflect the side of Jake I was talking about. I don't even know if I want to talk to him today or anymore, I still cold, I have to be, I might be frustrated, but I don't want to get hurt. This just suck to me!