A New Year!

Hello to everyone!

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, I know I did. :)

First of all, I hope that I didn't worry anyone the way I just completely stopped posting after Jordan and I broke up. I kept on writing but I just never had the chance to post any of them, later I'll try to post the document link for anyone that wants to read them all but I must warn- there are a lot, I wrote practically every day.

**Just a quick recap, things were hard after Jordan and I broke up, we would still talk everyday and he had a different reaction than any of my past breakups. Instead of pulling away he was sweet, caring, and still there for me no matter what. It was painful but for a long while we didn't tell each other how we felt but there were moments when I cried, then he cried with me.
**I started dating for while but sadly things just couldn't compare to what Jordan and I had, I think I was trying too hard to make myself have feeling that weren't really there. The way things were only farther help me realize my feelings for Jordan weren't going to go away, and they still haven't.

This Christmas holiday I spent two amazing weeks with the love of my life, Jordan and I'm glad that I took the chance because it only brought us closer to each and fall more and more in love with each. I still can't believe, I didn't think it was even possible to be in love as we are now. I've felt so great ever since I decided to take that chance, I don't regret it at all.

I went by train because I had never been on one and I always wanted to try it.

My Train experience:
4. Well it was a long train ride but it was so quit compared to all the craziness I was use to.
3. I was able to sleep A LOT (which I disparately needed)
2. I saw beautiful landscapes along the way.
1. The best thing of all, I did it all on my own!

When I arrived it was really cold, but I didn't have to be in the cold too long because Jordan was there waiting for me on the platform . I nearly cried but the cold wind kept me from my tears.

It was so great to be with him again, I love him so much. I spent Christmas with him and his family, they are so nice and fun to be around. I got some presents but the best present of all was just being able to spent Christmas with Jordan I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! :)

We stayed at Jordan's Grandma's house for three days and we saw a lot of movies and played Guitar Hero World Tour with his brother and sister. It was fun! After the three days we drove down to his dad's side of the family for an after Christmas, Christmas. We were there for most of the day then we went back to his house. We drove around a lot but I liked it, he is such a good driver, I felt so safe with him.

On New Years Eve we went to other city to eat lunch and Jordan bought me a t-shirt from there. He kind of picked it because he liked the way it looked and it was two shades of GREEN! I love green so I really liked it. When we got back in town we went over to his friends house so we could meet but he was with his girlfriend so I met his parents and we watched Across the Universe I really liked that movie since the first time I saw, (I LOVE the Beatles!) When we got back to his house, his sister was having a New Years party so being the losers and nerds that we are we just went to his room and watch a Battle Star Galactica season.

For anyone who's into robotic: The First Robotic Kickoff was on the 3rd and we were there! It was so different than what I was use to. The game is so different now, a lot has changed. Jordan being the nerd I know and love, had to help teach many persons how to work with the new programming. So I had the pleasure of watching him at his nerdiest. :D

We stayed late so Jordan was pretty much brain dead, hungry, and on a sugar crash from all the sweet snacks he ate. I said goodbye to everyone I met there because it was my last night then went to eat at Chili's. I had never been there so Jordan was determined to take me there as he had pomised, he's so sweet. That's just one of the things I love about him, he always does what he says he's going to do.

The train station is about two hours away from Jordan's house so just he and I spent the night at his grandma's house about twenty mins away. On the drive over there he had to pull over on the side of the road because I was crying from the thought of having to leave the next morning. He cried with me, we cried so much and we held each other tight. I don't remember the last time I cried the way I did that night, I felt dead afterwards, it was like I cried out almost all my tears.

The next morning I was as strong as I could be and I held back my tears that I desparately wanted to cry on the drive to the train station and as we waited for my train. He walked with me to the train and he gave me one last hug and kiss than walked away. I think he trying not to let me see him cry but I saw the tears in his eyes and I'm sure he saw the ones in mine. I cried to myself for a little while on the train as I looked out the window, eventually I took a nap. It was kind of sad, I woke up and I looked around in search of Jordan before I realized where I was.

Don't worry everyone, I've been feeling great lately, I'll admit it was hard at first but I really have been feeling great and it's all because of Jordan. I will go back again in April but not for as long. :( Any time with him is better than none at all. :) I can't wait until I get to hold him, kiss him and look into those bright blue eyes again.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JORDAN! FY394. -FY392 :)