"Speak" :'(

As you may have noticed I didn't blog yesterday, I wanted to but I just didn't find the time. I had to distract myself so I did rearrange some of my stuff as I said then I went shopping with my mom. I'm still so proud of myself because I've kept up with my rule that I would only buy things that I need, I serious needed a bookshelf so I bought on among a few other items. I knew I needed one but I really didn't know how much I needed the bookshelf until I started putting I my books on it. It filled up fast but it looks so good and organized, I love it! Still not as much Jordan, though, I would still leave it behind for him but at least I can enjoy being in there for now. (my dog loves it too, he just loves the way he has him own area set up with plenty of roaming space, Freedom!)

The new book, "Speak," is really getting to me. Sadly I was right about my guess, I hate being right because that means I can see the signs. I wanted to cry as I read the big secrete but I couldn't I had to hold it in so I feel very sad. I still want to cry but I can't just yet, not until I'm in the safety of my room. I needed to write a letter and blog before I could take my late night shower (I switched to nights it's easier to sleep) I have to work in the morning so I should probably hurry up.

I just can't believe the impact a book could have on my life, I really picked some good books I can't wait to read my final pick then I'll have to buy some more, good thing my shelf is big enough with an extra shelf still! :) I can't wait to go to my room and cry it all out, I always feel so much better after a good cry. I really need to cry, I can feel a knot of emotions in my chest waiting to let lose. I really miss Jordan, I need a hug, not just any hug, a hug from my love. :( There's something about being with Jordan, we fit perfect, it just feels so right. I miss that feeling, I need that feeling right now. One more day, tomorrow night I can talk to my love, still one night too long. :'(