Worried about"R"

When I broke up with “R” I told him that I still wanted to be friends and here’s the weird things for everyone to understand, I actually meant it. At first we would still talk on the phone and he would still come over to my house with all my family and watch movies just like we use to the only difference was that we would actually watch the entire movie rather than sneaking off in between to get a little make out time for a while. ;)

Then we even tried going out on dates to maybe see if there was something still there but that was a bust. After I told him that I didn’t like who he had become and basically that he changed too much far beyond the possibility of reconciliation(in a much nicer way of course), he stopped calling and I got worried about him. So one day I called him to see how he was, it seemed like he didn’t want to talk to me and he told me as we were getting off the phone, if it would be a while before we talked again not to worry about him that he would be fine.

It had been a good while again so I decided to call him, this time when I ask him how he was doing he answered to my surprise that he was actually doing pretty good, really good. I asked him what happened and he said that he couldn’t tell me then, that he would tell later.

Saturday I called him again when I was at my cousin’s house, “R’s” best friend, he said that he was helping a friend with a new roof so he would go over later. It started getting late and I thought that he wasn’t going but he did. He went to talk to my cousin in his room and after a while he came out and said he had to go. He then asked me if he could talk to me outside for a little bit, real quick, if I wanted to, of course I was curious so I went.

He told me that that he,” kind of met someone,” I thought that was great, I had no problem with it. I told him that it was good that he found someone and that I wasn’t upset with him. He seemed sad about telling and I’m not sure why, if he was happy with her(I don’t know her name) why was he so sad? Of course this didn’t dawn on me until much later after he left and I was feeling like I was in the greatest mood every in a long time. The reason for this, my first reaction was that I no longer had to feel guilty about how well Jordan and I are while “R” is still alone and depressed about our break up(I know, I was being selfish, I wasn’t completely happy for him only)

Well he told me that they met about a month before they got together and when they met things started out as just friends, not even that he said that he was trying to be an a** on purpose because he didn’t want to meet anyone and she still wanted to talk to him. Another thing, she had a boyfriend at the time. Does anyone see where I’m going with this, and why I’m still worried about “R”?

I’m worried that they may both be using each other to get over their ex-relationships, anyone else thinking what I’m thinking, rebound? Another red flag for me was that he said that he talks about me and brings things up about me and things we did together(happy things), all the time and get this, so does she with her ex-boyfriend. Call me crazy, but that is not something that two people really truly happy with each other would do. I know that I don’t do that unless I’m trying to make a point about something, other than that the sad truth is that I hardly think about my ex-boyfriends including “R”.

That’s why I can’t shake the feeling that something’s not right here, why do I keep thinking about “R?” I know that I’m not jealous of his new girlfriend; I don’t want to get back with him even when I was by myself I was far happier than how things were going at the end of our relationship, off and on throughout our entire relationship(“R”). I really just care about “R” so much as a friend that I just don’t want to see him hurt and I’m afraid that if he’s in this relationship for all the wrong reasons, to get over me, than he will end up hurt; especially if I’m right about the whole thing being a rebound.

I don’t know what to do, I’m just so worried about “R” more than anything, now I have a new sense of guilt hanging over my shoulders, should I confront him about my worries or just let it be? If he get’s hurt and I said nothing, does that make me partly to blame for not talking to him about this fear of mine? Please post your comments, I need all the help I can get!